The Slippery Slope

Not to be confused with the slope that was slippery. The Slippery Slope is a 2003 action book by Daniel Handler. It is the third book in A Series of Unfortunate Events, and the twelfth book written by Lemony Snicket. It introduces Quigley Quagmire, along with the man with a beard but no hair and the woman with hair but no beard. It reveals what V. F. D. stands for, and uncovers family secrets and mysteries. At the end of this book, the Baudelaire orphans end up sliding down a slippery slope, where they find Captain Widdershins' Captain Widdershins' Submarine.

Beginning
For Beatrice,

When we met, you were pretty, and I was lonely.

Now, I am pretty lonely.

Note at the Back
Dear Reader,

Like handshakes, house pets, or raw carrots, many things are preferably not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their journey up-and down a range of strange and distressing mountains.

In order to spare you any further repulsion, it would be best not to mention any of the unpleasant details of this story, particularly a secret message, a toboggan, a deceitful trap, a swarm of snow gnats, a scheming villain, a troupe of organized youngsters, a covered casserole dish, and a surprising survivor of a terrible fire.

Unfortunately, I have dedicated my life to researching and recording the sad tale of the Baudelaire Orphans. There is no reason for you to dedicate yourself to such things, and you might instead dedicate yourself to letting this slippery book slip from your hands into a nearby trash receptacle or deep pit.

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket